Never Been Loved

I-I love. I love…

I don’t know how to say this
The words try to twist and cram into my mouth
yet refuse to come out
You see
I have never been the girl who has been loved before
I have never been the girl
Whose hands you’ve held
Whose lips you’ve kissed
whose heart you’ve broken.
I have never been the girl
whose been told that she is beautiful
whose been told that she is worthy
whose been looked at like she is the only girl in the room.
But then you came and everything changed
You are the boy I have always loved
You are the boy who has always known me
You are the boy I have always  trusted.
But none of this is real.
This is just my mind playing tricks
Envisioning a boy who loves me
When there is only dust in front of me
I have never been the girl who has been loved before
So I say
So I have said
Cheeks rosy
left lonely
Hoping that the boy will stay
ask my name
and say “I see You”
No longer invisible
The cloak lifted off.
You are enough.
But no boy is there
No boy ever was
There can’t be
That is the curse of an old soul
stuffed into a modern day rag doll.
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