We get asked “How are you?” thousands of times in our lives. How many
times have you answered the question? I mean *really* answered the
question. Not with a “good,” or “fine” but with an actual expression
of what you were feeling in that moment. How many times have you done
I generally answered with “good, how are you?” because I am always
looking to divert attention away from me.
Once I experienced sharing my emotions and my experiences in a
supportive and judgement free environment I felt much more at ease
with them. My experience was no longer one of passive-aggressive jabs
or shame from not wanting to share. It became natural to notice how I
felt and convey that to someone else.
When my roommate mentioned wanting to start a movement called “How are
you really?” I wanted to create something that everyone could
interact with. I also love creating technology that empowers people so
I decided to put together a website called howAreYouReally.com (it’s a
unique name, I know!) The site is a space for people to share. To be
heard. Because we’re not alone, no matter how much it may feel that way.
Odds are good our opening up will make a difference for someone (myself
or yourself included).
How are you really? is not just a website. It’s not just a question.
It a map to discover where your heart is. It’s
a light to shine in your darkest places. It’s a moment to acknowledge
what you’re grateful for. It’s a trophy to take pride in your
accomplishments. Most importantly, it’s a conversation. It’s an
opportunity to connect with all the humans around you.
Next time you ask someone “How are you?” let them answer. Don’t let
them get away with a “fine” ask how they’re really doing. Then listen
with curiosity and awe as they let you experience their world.